Crimsonietta.net

Sometimes I wonder precisely why I’m living the way I am today. I made a post earlier admitting to the public a rather exaggerated psychological trait of mine - the fact that I used to have an inferiority complex that still crops up occasionally - but now that I look back at what I said, I realize that I was making excuses and trying to do exactly the thing that I condemn: garner pity.

I don’t enjoy unwanted sympathy, so I definitely don’t go looking for it either. And the more negative posts I create on my blog, the more of a nuisance it is to read my opinions and reflect thoughtfully on them. I really and truly hope that in the future I can just live for the sake of living and not worry so much about the little trifles that may afflict me from time to time. After all, it’s nothing to feel down once in a while - there are plenty of people out there who have the right to truly complain about the quality of their life, and I have no right to be imposing upon them. There are so many people who suffer from disease, hunger, lack of education, cult practices, etc. If anyone should be entitled to complain about how bad their life is, or how much they hate their present situation, it would be them.

In short, I suppose it’s really frustrating at times for me to keep a positive outlook on life, but I suppose I’ll have to try my hardest. I have already successfully pinned down the main reason why I can’t get anything done - I’m not focused enough and I often stray from the path of things that really matter, getting caught up in superfluous and materialistic activities. If only I could focus purely on the things that matter most in life, then I could enjoy it to the fullest. As you may recall from a few entries back, my top priorities are documenting life, technology, SnM, fine arts, and education. More than anything, though, I believe the act of documenting my life is the one that I enjoy the most and would love to continue doing even if the rest eventually fade away.

So, in retaliation to my previous lament earlier today, if the summer is too boring and I feel I don’t have anything to do, then I suppose I’ll have to make things to do! Laundry list time, hehe =) And for once I won’t bother my readers with the details.

Earlier today, however, I was contemplating the idea of creating a separate site for my written works, similar to what the owner of Verbosity.net has done. I’ve played with this idea the entire day in my mind, and I keep on getting the urge to go ahead with this idea, but I know deep within my heart that I’ll simply lose interest in it over time. After all, aren’t all of my blog posts already “written works”? Haha =) It seems things work this way a lot of the time with me, however. I often get grand ideas that I really wish to pursue, but I know, regretfully, that I will eventually lose focus and discard the ambition.

Perhaps it’s best that I just stick with the things that I know I will never give up. Like continuing to prod at technology, produce Sekai no Melody, and doing what I do best - blogging and expressing my opinions! Until next time, enjoy life.

So I’ve been trying to compile a birthday wishlist for about a week now. Usually the process goes as thus:

“Hmm. So I have to list out a bunch of stuff I want. Let’s see. I wouldn’t mind getting a few more Pullips… a few of these CDs and DVDs… maybe another laptop. New headphones and microphones. I wouldn’t mind a few more pairs of earrings for my collection. I would love a complete set of Giant Microbes. I would love to collect a bunch of Tamagotchi for the lulz. While I’m at it, I’ll throw in some hardware reference books and some astrophysics books and maybe some other stuff on audio production, web design, and general programming. Oh, I’d love a Blackberry.”

Then I’ll stare intently at the list.

And stare some more.

And then I’ll realize that Pullips are overpriced, I could easily torrent the CDs and DVDs, I don’t need another laptop, my current headphones work fine, my current mic works fine (*cough* itsoundsmuffledinlinuxsoimstillusingitunderwindows *cough*), I already have over 100 pairs of earrings, I only really like the Flu plush of the Giant Microbes, Tamagotchi’s are WAY overpriced and I suck at taking care of them, I could easily torrent the ebooks, and I’m still getting mixed reviews on the Blackberry.

So uh. I really don’t know what I want for my birthday. Most of the items I brainstorm are just novelty items - things that won’t matter in the future and don’t really matter that much now, they’re just a luxury. The only items I would seriously have need for would be the laptop, Blackberry, and peripherals, but I don’t think my parents are up to getting me more technology items. They probably think I’m obsessed enough as it is. I would ask for a desk calendar or a poster calendar, but they don’t make the ones with the Jpop/Cpop idols until November, and I never use those since I just got a new, gorgeous, handy planner ♥

So yeah. Vivi’s birthday 2008 wishlist:  SURPRISE ME. with something good -_-

^ That right there is my typical workstation when I’m working on Sekai no Melody revamp items. Of course this is the Linux’ed version. From left to right:

• “newlayout” - the folder where all the layout files are actually located
• Iceweasel window - open in tabs are my Yahoo inbox (always open no matter what I’m doing), my blog (same), the SnM discography, and the SnM site itself (so I can see how my code renders). In Windows the equivalent would have been Firefox.
• Folder of the SnM discography itself - reference for release dates, covers, etc.
• KFTPGrabber - FTP client. I still like AceFTP better, but I guess with a new OS comes new programs :P
• GIMP - okay, kudos to the developers of this piece of software, but no offense.. give me back Photoshop any day. I would run it under Wine or VM but I don’t have an urgent need yet.
• KWrite window - with whatever file I’m currently editing, equivalent of Notepad
• Amarok - only the best music player ever, because I can’t work without music. In Windows, my player of choice would have been foobar2000.

So yes. Without any of those items, I would not be able to maintain a productive cycle during the day. Just thought you’d all be interested in seeing how exactly I got SnM stuffs done.