I don’t know what to do anymore. No matter how hard I study, how much fun I give up to focus on my studies, how much I try my hardest at everything, how many practice problems I do, how many office hours and tutoring sessions I attend, how many classes I go to and actively learn, I don’t think I can pass physics for this semester.
I studied pretty much every day from Saturday to Thursday. I had 200 practice problems to do and completed nearly half and could explain them to you perfectly. I knew the concepts, I knew the math. I took the test and didn’t panic. I actually worked through it and felt good about it. Then test scores came out, and it’s so bad you don’t even want to know what it is. As in, it’s probably about half of what my second test score was, it’s so bad. As in, less than 25. out of 100.
(So all of you whiny elitists who cry because you got a 60, shut the hell up. Please. You have no idea what some of us are going through, and every time you complain because you got “only” a 55 or “not as well as you hoped”, it just rubs it in and makes it even harder.)
I hate these doubts. Doubts that I’m not MIT material, that they made a mistake in accepting me. I keep on being a disappointment to my parents and my professors and even to my former HS teachers; though I’ve tried so hard, studying ten times as much as I did in high school, and I can’t even get a third of the results. I guess I’m nothing more than another stupid kid who’s way out of her league. Why am I even here? I thought that if I studied hard enough and worked hard enough then I would be able to at least pass this test, but for some reason the world doesn’t work this way. There’s no one to go to for help - everyone acts as if it’ll be alright, or as if I’m stupid, or as if they think I know the material when I really don’t.
I just… don’t know what to do anymore.
Don’t give up.
For me, this post is inspirational. I too have been having trouble with academics (as you may have seen on my blog). Although my problem tends to lie in a secondary educational level, it still has me thinking the same. Yet your post reveals something. You are indeed MIT material. Nobody is perfect and you show that MIT students don’t have to be perfect to be what they are. For me, you are a role model as you have gotten into the university that I dream of being accepted into but simultaneously revealing that students there even face normal problems.
Tests and exams are not a measure of intelligence, but knowledge instead.
Don’t give up on MIT. You are a role model to me and possibly many other MIT hopefuls. You display a human side to the students, a side we on the outside world are never shown.
Don’t throw in the towel.
You’re doing fine. It’s your first term. I’ve gotten comparable scores before. Not exactly <25, but in the 25-35 range. You’ll get used to things. Just don’t give up. Good luck!
I agree; never give up! Yes, of course MIT is tough, and it certainly will have you feeling down (and dumb) sometimes. But never turn back, second-guess yourself, or question if you were “the mistake” of admissions. To quote an MIT admissions blog, “MIT admissions never makes mistakes.” Sure, sounds impossible at first, but I can honestly say that I genuinely believe them - because everyone who comes here certainly is amazing in some way or another, and don’t ever think that you’re an exception.
Sometimes it also helps to put things into perspective a bit; remember that there are people in the world who are starving, living a day-to-day existence with low expectations for their survival and that of their children. Even though MIT can be difficult sometimes, we’ve still got it pretty good in a number of ways. We have food, shelter, and are in no bodily danger; it must seem bizarre and inexplicable to those people in third world countries how we sit here and worry ourselves so much about a number or a few markings written on a piece of paper. So, always try to look on the bright side; every cloud has its silver lining.
You’re clearly trying your best, and that’s the best that anyone can ask; so just take what comes, take pride in your efforts and courage, and never give up. Stay strong… I can tell you are, so you’ll be fine. If you ever need to talk or anything, feel free to stop by my room if you need someone to listen.